It's Complicated [D13, LE, Closed]

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

"I think I can at least manage that, yes. As for the recipe, good luck. A Crane artisan would likely wish a sizeable gift or favor for the exchange."

The rest of his dessert passed in silence, as he did his best to enjoy the simple treat and Chihaya's simple presence. He had to admit to himself that it was nice, not speaking and not chewing on his own foot when he did.

But dessert didn't last forever, and eventually there was nothing left to forestall further conversation. Degarashi simply waited, eyes on Chihaya until she finished her dessert in turn.

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

She was thorough, give her credit for that. Once the bowl had been scraped clean, she set it down, expression thoughtful.

Perhaps she was attempting to break down the recipe mentally by force of will, perhaps seeking a good way to begin the conversation.

Perhaps restraining a burp? Who could say? All that was certain was the reality that she hadn't started the conversation back up, instead studying the wooden bowl with a thoughtful expression, and allowing the silence to draw out, until it became as stiff and taut as other things sometimes did.

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

The tension grated against Degarashi as well, but he struggled to find words to break the silence. Occasionally it seemed he might speak, but then he simply blushed and remained silent.

By the time he found himself able to speak, his knuckles were turning white where he gripped his own hands.

"I can scarcely find anything to say that isn't some baited trap, and the one honest thing I can think to say is the most damning thing of all, and much more difficult to speak."

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

"Then say what you must - or give yourself permission to say nothing."

She smiled faintly, a sad sort of smile, and added, "I wish I did not torture you so, Degarashi-san, those moments when you aren't distracted by me, you have such interesting insights. In some ways, I feel I lessen you - and that grieves me."

Her voice held no double meaning, only a sincere sadness that she could not seem to extricate the entanglement which had caught them both up.

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

"The fault is entirely mine, Chihaya-san. No one should ever claim guilt for simply existing. But maybe, if I can face this honesty which bothers me, then I can move past it, into whatever future lies on the other side of it."

The internal struggle was written into Degarashi's features, and it was clear that he didn't wish this trouble to continue plaguing a growing friendship either. So, one way or another, he intended to move past it, but no amount of acting, no pile of lies and half truths would serve to remove the thorn.

Degarashi looked up from his side of the table, and he looked small, bereft of the confidence and swagger and shielding provided by his training, and spoke his piece. Simple, honest, and possibly unexpected words, even after all this time.

"I would very much like to kiss you, Chihaya-san."

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

She turned a bit pink, but didn't look away. "And? Would that help?"

An arched eyebrow. "Or would it only drive you closer to compromising one thing for another?"

She didn't sound angry, or even particularly... upset. Just curious, and strangely compassionate.

"Would that cure you?"

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

"I don't know, but there are few things as honest as a kiss, Chihaya-san. I think I would find any answers I might need from that alone."

Here he raised a hand, gesturing towards the Sparrow.

"But you are also free to say no. That is an acceptable answer as well. We're about to part ways, and it's possible that my time in other lands will clear my head. I've spoken my part, what happens next I entrust to you."

And from the look in Degarashi's eyes, that was the truth. He'd accept any outcome from here on, knowing that he'd opened up with the fullness of his honesty.

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

She smiled faintly, and said, simply. "And if I asked you to stop at a kiss?"

Tilting her head, she added, softly, "I would have you be sure you have deciphered the poison and the antidote correctly, before you drink."

Her gaze matched his, as if daring him to look away.

"You can take the action you feel right - you had the sense to choose a closed room, so you have discretion."

There was something in her last comment, some hope of... something. Perhaps belief in his restraint, or perhaps a wish for him to discard it. She didn't give enough for him to be sure.

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

"Ah...I only want for the kiss itself, Chihaya-san. If there is anything else to be had beyond that, I should know it in an instant, but I've made my point quite clear. If it isn't what you wish, I will not cross the line."

It was, in essence, more of a trap than anything. Degarashi had laid out his intentions, and Chihaya hers. Somewhere between the two lay the truth, and in essence what he was asking now was tantamount to challenging the Sparrow to a duel. They could attack and riposte endlessly, but if brought down to a mutually destructive strike, the final result of their confrontation would be forced into the open.

"If you delay too long, I shall take that as your answer."

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

"You have my answer. Drink from the cup you have chosen - and let us hope you have chosen well."

She did not rise or stir, sitting calmly in seiza, expression kind.

The only thing she checked was that they were truly alone, and that none would be carrying unfortunate rumors... but this was a quiet side room, and the door was closed.

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

They were indeed alone, at least enough to be afforded privacy. Degarashi had ensured that much. At Chihaya's final words on the matter, he nodded, eyes closing during the simple motion, and lifted a hand to his cheek, carefully removing his veil.

Then he leaned forward, deliberately but slowly, never fully breaking his seiza as he closed the distance between them, one hand coming down to press against the table at the last possible moment.

The other hand, Degarashi's right hand, came up to cup Chihaya's cheek, and maybe pulled her just a touch forward, so that Scorpion and Sparrow both moved into each other as their lips met.

After all the things that he had said leading up to this point, the kiss itself was remarkably chaste, neither hopeful nor demanding, barely even questing, seemingly content with the contact alone, though his heart beat out a tempo against her lips.

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

The kiss he got in return was soft, merciful... not needy or recoiling. Though her heart pounded, it did not seem to be in lust or fear, but some other driving need... perhaps to see this through and discover what became of them after?

After their lips had parted, she rose slightly, lifting herself just enough to rise, planting a kiss on his forehead, and then settling back.

They were still close, and she did not avert her gaze, as she asked, softly, "So, Degarashi-san... Did you choose rightly? Have you excised the poison?"

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

Even with the kiss being as brief as it was, Degarashi didn't protest when Chihaya pulled away. His cheeks were mildly pink, his pulse slightly elevated, but the gnawing desire to push the limitations set between them either wasn't there, or was calm enough to simply ignore it.

As he opened his eyes, there was a clarity to them he hasn't felt previously, which brought a smile to his lips. Before he spoke, however, he returned the veil its rightful place above his mouth.

"Hai, Chihaya-san. I think I've discovered what I needed to, and can move forward with our friendship without further difficulties. You have my apologies for the trouble I caused reaching this point."

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

She waved a hand, lazily, "It is nothing. So much water, already under the bridge."

Her expression was kind, however, and she seemed relieved. "I am glad - I would like to stay in touch, and knowing it will not pain you is a great relief."

Crossing her hands in her lap, she added, with that uneven smile she sometimes had when at ease, her left cheek showing a dimple. "I do pray you will find an arrangement which brings you happiness - beneath the masks I have seen a good man, willing to put every part of himself on the line for his clan - and I hope some day you will see him as well, that you will allow yourself to nurture that part of your self, along with your arts and your roles."

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

That brought a peaceful smile to his lips, and as he leaned back, his posture was one of total relaxation.

"I am equally happy to admit that it pains me no longer, and would welcome your correspondence as I make my way through the lands of the Dragon and beyond."

His cheeks colored again, and his eyes flicked briefly away. "I would find such a notion pleasant, but I've made the fool mistake of being far too useful to my lord in the past few days. I've become something of a political asset, and likely will be paired for favor over affection. But..." He sounded a touch...wistful? "If such is what my lord requires, such is what they shall receive."

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

"Hai... and as has been noted, not all clans share Suzume sensibilities... the two of you might find an accommodation."

With a faint nod, she added, "Do not view usefulness as a mistake - it may add pressure, but in the pressure, we can be honed into ever greater versions of ourselves, provided we do not break."

Something in her voice spoke of experiencing both outcomes, and she did not discount the risks.

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

His eyes briefly twinkled with a familiar mischief, minus the underlying lust. "I do so love a challenge. I think...I might enjoy a bit more visibility, if it means I can serve more ably. And who knows, when next we meet, we might both hold the title of sensei. Wouldn't that be something?"

Ever full of trucks, Degarashi produced a bottle of shochu and a pair of cups.

"Far too powerful to drink without care, but perhaps just strong enough to toast to the future?"

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

"I would look forward to meeting your pupils... granted you gave me advance warning."

A soft chuckle. "Otherwise I fear I would make an easy mark for them."

As he brought out the drink, she nodded. "A believe a toast to friendship is in order, ne?"

Bayushi Degarashi · **Joined:** Fri Apr 03, 2020 7:02 pm **Posts:** 1027

Degarashi narrowed his eyes playfully. "Neh, Chihaya-san. If they weren't sneaking up on you so the time would they really be [my[/i] students? Can't have you getting complacent, after all."

He laughed softly as he poured out a cup for each of them. Then he lifted his cup towards the Sparrow.

"To new and strengthening friendship!"

Suzume Chihaya · **Joined:** Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:29 pm **Posts:** 850

A soft sigh. "Well, just make sure they don't try anything too stupid. I'd hate to beat someone up and find out they were your pupil."

Her tone was light, so maybe she was joking?

Raising her cup, she nodded. "To future successes, and a season of peace."

Then she drained the cup, astonishing again with her ability to consume sake.

It's Complicated [D13, LE, Closed]

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